Poetry

Number #1

A fan is easy to say.
The connotation turns me away.
I wish they would make a word for me,
For someone with so much love you’ve never seen.
Oh wait, that’s right, they do.
And it was made for me and you.
Soulmates till the end my love.
If I have to cut you, split you and boil you in the tub.


Repressed Memories

Heard of a man in a coma.
Wondered if he’d seen what I’d seen
in the nine years he spent asleep.
Told him I lived right by here,
He smiled and nodded.
He knew.
I’d seen his face in the papers,
next to another one I knew very well.
Long ago, I was young when it happened.
Really, not a big deal.
It was only when I was seven,
Nothing but adventure lied ahead.
By nine years I was pubescent,
Learning more from cowardice and confusion.
Now even, I’m young.
A decade a top the rest.
But when stopped me
he asked me,
after he told me he hadn’t missed a thing,
If I ever forgave him fully,
the man who took it all away.
I stopped and turned to him wholly,
in the driveway of his new house.
Told him I’d never considered it,
but now, maybe I would.


Agendas

Saw him on the sidewalk.
Noticed the cane,
Picked up on the smell.
His dementia was obvious.
He smiled, and I nodded.
He spoke.
I didn’t listen.


An Ad for Bathroom Cabinets that are Mirrors

Your hair is too long.
You should cut it or style.
Your face is too old.
I know, you’re still young.
The eyes just look tired,
and old. Wrinkled. Ugly.
And your lips look as dry as if you
dapped them with tissues.
Your face is just sorry.
It’s dry and yet greasy.
And it’s covered with the worst.
I wish you could see this from
my angle and the others.
Simply up close is but a taste of it.
It’s not honest enough,
you know it.
It’s doesn’t mean enough because you love it.
So pretend to shop for toiletries,
and at 28۫ stop shopping.
Know what you need by this point
for that foul tasting dish of the Gods.


Microsoft Word Part 2

Because I’ve done the other one.
Though only because I would enjoy it
if I were to delete his condescending smile.
You, I don’t have a problem with.
You look old and full of wisdom.
Though I will say you’re an ass
for snoring while I work for you.



Standards

She has to feel it.
By now she can sense his heart.
He’s watched her every evening,
for twenty minutes, at least, a day.
Studied her every curve,
every outfit she’s ever worn.
He knows how many steps it takes her
to get from her building to the curb.
Maybe she’ll warm his heart today,
or drop a few more quarters instead.
Eventually he’ll have enough for her.
But at this rate, it might take years.


Miles Away

If we meant what we said,
with a phone to our head,
I would never have let you go.


Lunch Hours

Watched my dog eat for three hours.
Threw him food until he fell over.
He huffed, he drooled, and spit up and puffed.
Then I threw him some more.
Watched my dog eat today.
Watched my dog die.


Lost Online

Your smile was genuine,
your laugh here was loud.
That squint used to mean playfulness.
Those cheeks, I remember, wanted more.
This one shouldn’t be here.
It’s place is out of order.
Those lips should have been full here.
Your lashes should hang low.
I should’ve been kissing you
on your profile picture from November.


Goals in Life

Found a tweet.
Posted it again.
Dropped my phone.
But I bought one more.
Just in case.


Dvd Collection

There are so many to choose from.
Even categories to help.
For some reason that stack's more colorful,
the second from the left.
I guess you could’ve guessed that.
If I asked you just before,
you really should’ve known that.
You’re really not that funny.



Priorities

I want you to do my body.
I like when it warms up fast.
Then you can light up my face.
My make-up should be done by then.


Microsoft Word

I’m certain his eyebrows aren’t attached.
That makes me wonder about his eyes.
It’s odd he has a nose there,
when really its just my eyes.
I wish he would stop reading this.
There isn’t any time to tell him why.
Soon he’ll be reading his last words,
before I right click his bendy ass to death


Watch With Me the Past


I see you’ve started without me.
Already up at the counter.
And you’re rubbing your palms against the glass,
leaving marks and stains for hours.
Sweat from my back stuck to that damn silk shirt.
It was light and thin, and shined a bit,
and the creep in the corner with the laptop couldn’t help but stare.
You told me about him later, but he wasn’t the reason you frowned.
It wasn’t because I didn’t see him, or that if I had, I didn’t think twice.
It was because you never looked for him. At all, today or the past.
“I’ll just have a coffee. Medium sized is fine.”
“Coffee? Really? You don’t want sweet? Something to tickle your tongue?”
You slithered through your teeth at me, the possibility that I was wrong.
I believe that may have been joking. We’ve been over this again before.
 I see your sense of humor hasn’t changed, or even appeared there at all.
And you haven’t lost the habits that hurt you, you’ve added ones that’ll kill.
Just like your parents, you’ll smoke them away. Till you burn, and embers burn fast.
At least I’m not in hiding. I’ll show myself when I want. I’ll take what I can get, and steal what I cannot.
And what of the things you used? What of the things you’ve wasted?
I lost you didn’t I? Tell me how I’ve wasted.
Tell me while I pay for you. Your medium regular coffee.
Reaching through tight denim.  I hated those pants you bought for me. I couldn’t carry a thing in them. I wore them only for you.
And I told you to use my purse that day. Even when it slipped and fell to the ground. You refused to let me carry for you, your phone, your wallet and keys.  
It was fine, nothing broke. Only a crack and a bit of dust.
And the clerk had a laugh at you. She watched you bend over, and she noticed the couple behind us.
I wish I had seen them the first time. Their presence meant so much. They could’ve told us how it would be like. Their stories could’ve been framed for us.
Those old folks a foot behind us? They smelled, and moved like rust. He even gave me look once. Right after I grabbed my straw and cup.
He stared at me like he knew me, he was older and thought he could teach.
Judging me through thick frames that were built and bought in ’69.
I snarled when I passed right by him, and I’ll snarl even now from behind. I’ll snub his dirty little girlfriend, and I’ll insult his pretty little wife.
So along with your sense of humor, your respect hasn’t aged a bit.
I’m wondering how long before I find you, in a jail, a hospital or dead.
I’ve already given them up for you. I’ve already spent months and years alone. Every time we do this I realize, how completely stupid I’ve been all along.
Every time we relive this last moment, my frustration comes through paper thin. I want you back so badly that I’ve framed today's last kiss.
I don’t know what to say to you. I’m not sure how to break it this time. I know this is the only time we’ve done this, though it feels like routine to begin.
I waited for you time and again babe. I waited for you to forget today. I can’t believe you haven’t learned this yet, and I’m certain you never will.
I’m eighty now, and married. With three grand kids on the way. It was a great kiss that day in the café, and for those years before that follow. But I never wanted you to relive these moments, or look back on what you did.
It was about forgetting the rest of it, forgetting the past at all. And look forward with me for the rest of it. The real memories of yet to come.
I know you’ve said this before to me. The first time feels like the last.
But just watch with me for the last time. One more time. Together this time.
Watch with me the past.